My first time wishing stop the time from clicking was when i was at 4th grade. That was the time when my older bro and sis left home to get to boarding school out of the city. As the youngest one i just realized i missed being teased by those two. I did want to stop growing up, I didnt want anybody to get older either, to keep them around me, to keep me company.
But then she came to our family, took over my position as the youngest and spoiled-est. My young lil sister. She was the one i secretly took to accompany me taking my T-shirt on second floor at the peak of maghrib time, even when she was asleep, only because i was too afraid going there by myself. She was the one i idly showed my love to, but surely i do love her much, i just dont want to spoil her or simply bcs i just cant express affectionate action.
Now we were scattered and i was alone again, and for the second time i do want to stop the gushing time. It wont, of course.
Its true that we reflect ourselves leaving our young skin by watching someone else's growing up too (wow, i realize i am much older now that i see her all grown up!). Living at the present they say, but i am still in awe how time has changed me and people around me. And it takes so much guts to keep walking on this puzzling adulthood.
I wish i could freeze the time.
Just realized I never set good writing provides in prologue-main issue-epilogue systematically. But uh at least i tried to spill my chaotic thought here ketimbang q express it randomly on my Instagram Story where people are clueless about me. I chose to post it here, hide on this public yet personal sanctum on my very own diary hehe